A ‘best friend’ — who happens to be a guy

I’ve been lucky in life to have an incredible group of friends. Some closer than others which is of course normal. I have one friend in particular, who I had dated years back. The relationship ended fairly sour (does the term ‘man-slut’ mean anything to you??). Needless to say, we didn’t speak for years. But we finally managed to bury the hatchet and became very dear friends. In fact, I would consider him one of my ‘very best’ friends.

We’ve had our rough spots over the years. We mainly have grown into this team if you will. We like to think of ourselves as representing the opposite sex. Thus we formed ‘The Dating Summit’. I know…silly and sophmoric and I enjoy it completely. So there. ::::::wrinkling my nose and smiling:::::::

These ‘Dating Summits’ have gone so far as to having a typed agenda, Powerpoint presentations and yes, even doing surveys. We have ‘to do’ lists at the beginning of the year. We have ‘quarterly’ summits, mid-year summits, and end of year summits. And then there is of course the EMERGENCY DATING SUMMIT when one of us is in crisis mode from something or someone. More than anything it’s just a fun way to be unique friends. We go into great detail about people, places and things. And NO….there are no benefits involved here folks. Although we talk about friends who we’ve had benefits with.

The funny thing, is that when we both finally begin dating someone, he drops off the face of the earth. It’s as if he can’t be friends after he begins a relationship because the women get jealous. I guess I could understand that. But, I think if it were me, and I can’t speak for anyone else, as long as I knew the other woman, and knew they were just friends, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. I would consider her one more person to be friends with. How would you feel? Have you had this problem with a guy and a ‘best friend’ who was a female? Let me know in the comment area.

When I remarried, I remained friends with my male counterparts. My husband pretended to be OK with this. I am very social and knew it would become a problem. Should I have changed? Should I have axed those friendships ? Any comments from the guys reading this? Or the women? I personally think if you love someone, trust is KEY. If you don’t have trust, you have NOTHING. This man who I married had major issues with trust, because he was untrustworthy (he is the one ‘who shall not be named’ — which I’m sure will be mentioned throughout this blog – although no bitterness anymore I assure you – just stating facts). Great writing material – don’t you think?

Do you have male friends? Are you married? Is your husband OK with this? Does he have female friends? I mean…of course – when people get married, changes occur. But do you have to change the fabric of your being? I’m still pondering these things. I welcome comments.

p.s. Watching Kate & Leopold – loooovvveee Meg Ryan in this movie. Incredibly romantic! :::wiggling toes merrily:::::::: The line where Kate says ‘I’m not really good with men.’ And Leopold’s response is, “Perhaps you just haven’t found the right man”. :::dreamy sigh:::::

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